Learning · Reflections · resolutions · Uncategorized · Updates

Forgiveness Sets You Free

Today I thought I’d spend a few hours trying to catch up and write some blog posts (yay for a free Saturday!). Feeling a little uninspired, I thought I would head to the Greatness Journal I told you all about the other week.

Before you even get to recording how you are doing achieving your goals, this diary has a series of exercises to really work out what your focuses are and what has been holding you back.

The first is about writing down all the things that you feel guilty about, resent or regret in your life. Their theory is that by doing this you rid yourself of wasted energy so that you can use this to focus on actually achieving what will make you happy.

Mine was actually surprisingly short, but it still felt really good being able to articulate them on the page.

Alright: so confession time.

I’ve always felt some sort of slight ‘what if’ resentment for not being able to move around because I got married so young (I was 20). My husband does know this as it has been brought up in some sort of PMS crying fit (it happens!) before, but what I hadn’t really stopped and thought about for a long time is that I’m really not sure why I still think I feel like that. In actuality, I don’t think I do.

You see, if I had been able to move I would never have married my husband. Part of the reason I said yes in the first place was that I knew it was one of those moments in life I would always regret had I said ‘no’. As a result of staying in Dorset, I went to an amazing uni and met some amazing people in the jobs I’ve had since graduating. As a  result of staying and not having a hugely stressful ‘successful’ job I’ve been able to re-find my passion for knitting and writing – two huge parts of my life at the moment. As a result of staying in Dorset I now have my first child on the way, can spend loads of quality time with my family and have some amazing friends. In all honesty, I’m not sure what my ‘what if’ scenario could have actually given me.

My husband’s a pretty good bonus too 🙂 (He does read my blogs – I’m pretty sure to see if I’ve spoken about him – so hi!). But I honestly don’t know how the alternative could have panned out better than the current chain of events. So I’m actually seriously giving my younger self a pat on the back for saying yes – after asking if he was joking…. I still can’t believe I actually said that…

The only other thing that does cause some harbored annoyance is that I spent 3 years studying for a degree in Forensic Science and then didn’t get a job in it – part of the issue being I couldn’t move and so this does partly tie in to the ‘what if’ scenario discussed above.

What I hadn’t really properly considered before is that this degree wasn’t actually a waste of time. Because of all the extras and clubs and people I met while I was a uni I became a person who can succeed in the environment that I’m in now. I have the confidence and motivation to put myself ‘out-there’. Because of the person I grow up to be while I was studying at uni I have had the opportunity to get involved in some really exciting things through work.

In addition, I currently have a job that doesn’t really feel like work. Don’t get me wrong, I do treat it seriously, but I enjoy it to the point that I don’t get that ‘OMG it’s Monday already’ feeling. Although, that’s a bit of an exception at the moment because I’m 7 1/2 months pregnant and all I honestly want to do is sleep! But I’m still enjoying it once I’m actually in.

The degree also inspired in me the passion and motivation to follow my dreams and goals. I still need to work on organizing myself better to actually follow through on some of them, but hopefully this diary will help bring my that focus that I seriously need from somewhere! I certainly didn’t have the ability to do that before my degree – I got pushed through my GCSE’s and floundered through my A-levels. Then I learnt to self motivate and focus in Uni and got a First Class Degree – so I can do stuff when I focus and get myself organised. I think I partly just need to get some structure back into my life again… Apparently babies need routines? Hopefully my stuff can fit in there somewhere…

So, in conclusion, I don’t really have anything that really need forgiving. I just had niggling negative thoughts that have taken up far to much space in my head and actually don’t mean anything. The ‘What if’ scenarios don’t deserve the gravitas my subconscious seems to give them. I’m actually really lucky with the life I have. I have an amazing husand, a baby on the way, a house I love, a job I really enjoy, amazing friends and a close knit family. I have time for my knitting and my writing – following my passions is something that really helps keep me grounded and sane I think.

In all seriousness, I seriously do think this exercise works. I definitely feel better for being able to articulate this all on a page. Sometimes you don’t realize how much ‘negative energy’ can have a real effect on your outlook on life and how you live it.

If you had to forgive something in your life what would you forgive?

Baby brain signing off

MrsKirstyHoll

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Reflections · resolutions · Updates

How to fit it all in (or not)

It seems that I have created this image of myself that I am an extraordinarily busy, proactive person. That is definitely the case in many aspects – such as my hobbies and writing this blog – but not in everything. However, the thing I am often asked is – how do you fit it all in?

The short answer is – I’m still learning too. It’s difficult enough being a slightly odd 23 year old. I married my now husband at 21 (to be condemned by some for being “too young”), graduated with First class Hons in Forensic Science at 22, then lacked the motivation and willingness to move for jobs in my chosen field at 22/23 and then discovered the field of digital marketing at 23 (promptly actually falling in love with the profession). In addition to all of this, I’m also a keen crafter (which fits with my love affair with Netflix), a keen reader (which doesn’t fit so well with Netflix) and a keen blogger.

So how do I fit in all my hobbies and all the things I now need to learn to do my chosen profession? It has been a really slow and continuous learning process. But it has been inspired by those exemplary individuals who have come before me.

Same outfit everyday for work. When I first started with Shine Lighting we didn’t have a uniform. So I had the initial excitement of getting to choose (within reason) what I wore everyday to work. It wasn’t until we had some branded tops made that I realised how much time I wasted every day decided what to wear. Inspired by Mark Zuckerberk I then paired these shirts with a pile of the black smart trousers I found during my Minimalist game sort out. Getting changed now takes half the time and almost no energy.

Mark Zuckerberg - wears the same T-shirt ever day to work to save time and energy every day. Source: http://tech.firstpost.com/
Mark Zuckerberg – wears the same T-shirt ever day to work to save time and energy every day. Source: http://tech.firstpost.com/

Same lunch every day at work (I usually don’t bother with Breakfast and have lunch at 12). Going with this theme, I have also started to eat almost the same thing everyday at work for lunch. It’s currently usually a variant of baked beans/scrambled eggs on toast with cheese. So a great source of fibre and eliminates the need for the daily decision. I’m going to be moving closer to work soon, so at that point (with slightly more time in the mornings I might change this for something including more fresh food).

Eliminating coffee. Interestingly, I have actually found that I have felt a lot more productive and focused since giving up caffeine. I’ve also felt a lot healthier and have a lot more natural energy (although I think this is because in combo with less coffee I am now drinking more water). Instead of caffeinated coffee I am now possibly drinking 1/2 cups of decaf coffee (I still like the taste), about 2/3 cups of herbal tea and about 1.5L-2L of water (usually with a slice of lemon).

Running. I feel so much better and focused after going for a run/fast walk. Once I’m chilling out post run I tend to find I can put my mind to jobs that I have been putting off and get a little bit more efficient with finishing them. Where I’m going to be living closer to work I will be walking in every day and jogging home. So I’m hoping this will allow to to gain even more focus at work (which would be great as there is always about 6 million jobs to do!).

I’ve not taken on all these habits at once. Each once has really proceeded the other. It’s a bit like my lifestyle changes are gaining momentum throughout the year (all largely based on my resolutions from January). I’m feeling better, keeping to my resolutions, feeling happy and losing weight. So I think 2015 has been largely a success so far.

There is still a long way to go though. Other projects still get forgotten about and there is not always time prioritised properly. Friends and family aren’t always seen as often as I should see them. I’ve got to start finding the balance and working out how I combine my interests and pursuits with them. This is slightly true already with my crafting (I meet up with a few of my crafty friends for craft nights) and running (my friend and I meet up for a run 1/2 times a week). But I need to strike the balance between them and actually spending time with my husband. It’s definitely not as easy as it seems once you start considering it all.

But things take time and I’m only 6 months into this journey. Thanks for all the support you guys have shown me thus far.

Onwards and Upwards

🙂

Knitting · My WIP Projects · resolutions

Dusting off old projects

I nearly went out for another jog tonight. Then I got distracted by the options for craft projects and my husband is out for the evening… so it would be rude not to take the opportunity for some personal crafting time.

So I thought I would dig out one of my eldest projects.

THE SCARF.

4 years in the making. Its in double knit black wool on 2/3mm needles in garter stitch. 50 stitches wide.

SO BORING TO KNIT.

However, I am under obligation to finish it as it was a gift I promised my husband I would give him for Christmas before we were married. So… hopefully he might get it this year? Which would be nice as it will be our first Christmas in our new house.

The last time I touched this project was Feb. Partly due to the square patchwork art of knitting project. The knitting for the squares is much more interesting.

Though it will be difficult, I will try to finish it. Currently on ball 4 (or possibly 5? It’s been that long).

image

Current length: About 63 inches

Ideal length: About 70-90 inches according to art of manliness.com

So final countdown! Hopefully… Might just need to get myself 1 more ball of black DK and my husband will have a warm neck this winter.

UPDATE: FINALLY FINISHED!!! YAY! Have a look at the completed article here.